Film Review: Annie

‪ Annie. Rated PG. 118 minutes. Directed by Will Gluck. Screenplay by Will Gluck and Aline Brosh McKenna.

Verdict: In a word, dreadful.

What might have been a landmark reimagining of a popular comic strip heroine turned Musical Theatre Star, ends up being a film of such gob-smacking mediocrity that it becomes almost impossible to keep watching. With all the musicality of a burst fire hydrant, it is impossible to comprehend how the filmmakers responsible have got it so completely wrong.
 
The added cruelty inflicted on us here, is that we really want it to work. The evergreen musical (music by Charles Strouse, lyrics by Martin Charnin, and book by Thomas Meehan) has been enshrined in musical theatre history, with its signature tune ‘Tomorrow’ an instantly recognisable classic. Regrettably, like the rest of the fabulous score that has been slaughtered beyond recognition, it fails to make even the slightest impact – which can only be described as bizarre.

Quvenzhané Wallis, who became the youngest actress to receive a Best Actress Oscar® nomination for her performance in Beasts of the Southern Wild, is wonderful as Annie. And watching the rest of the film fall apart around her only makes the experience of watching it even more excruciating.

Jamie Foxx has a genuine go at the reimagined Oliver Warbucks character, Will Stacks, a mobile phone billionaire. Foxx is the only other cast member who can sing and kind of dance, but the major problem is that he obviously feels incredibly uncomfortable doing so in front of a movie camera. The hopelessly miscast Rose Byrne (as Stacks’ Personal Assistant, Grace) only proves that she can neither sing nor dance, which is awkward in a musical. But nothing will prepare you for the fear and panic that infuses Cameron Diaz’s unwatchable turn as Miss Hannigan.

But whatever the extent of the unjustifiable liberties that have been taken, the two-hour running time can only be described as beyond endurance.

This review was commissioned by the West Australian Newspaper Group.

Film Review: Sex Tape

Sex Tape. Rated MA15+ (strong sex scenes, sexual references, coarse language and drug use). 94 minutes. Directed by Jake Kasdan. Screenplay by Kate Angelo, Jason Segel and Nicholas Stoller.

Verdict: Apple® product placement reaches a new high.

Cameron Diaz, Jason Segel and Jake Kasdan first worked together on Bad Teacher (2011), the story of Diaz’s ‘bad’ teacher Elizabeth, who quits her job to marry her rich boyfriend, only to find herself back in the classroom again after he dumps her. Her mission to find another wealthy man to marry was one of the most unexpectedly enjoyable films of the season. Even though it has its moments, this outing for the trio is considerably less successful.

When parents Annie (Diaz) and Jay (Segel) try to rekindle their previously passionate sex life by making a sex tape, copies of the resulting video end up being shared amongst their friends on second-hand iPads that Jay gives them as gifts. When Annie’s future employer Hank (Rob Lowe) receives one of the iPads, Annie and Jay decide to go to whatever lengths are necessary to retrieve it before he has the chance to watch it.

Lowe is an odd choice for the role of Annie’s future boss, mostly because it is impossible to ignore the fact that he had his own infamous moment in the ‘sex tape’ sun way back 1989. Lowe has become a fine actor over the years, and his performance as the peculiar Hank is well below the standard he has set for himself in West Wing and Brothers and Sisters.

When it is not resembling an over-produced commercial for every Apple® product under the sun (Jay owns a ridiculous number of the company’s devices), the screenplay struggles to last the distance. While there are certainly some big laughs to be had (the scenes involving Jay and Hank’s German Shepherd guard dog are ridiculously over the top), it ultimately feels as though everyone is trying just that little bit too hard to get it over the line.

This review was commissioned by the West Australian Newspaper Group.

Film Review: What to Expect When You’re Expecting

What to Expect When You’re Expecting. Rated M (sexual references and coarse language). 110 minutes. Directed by Kirk Jones. Screenplay byShauna Cross and Heather Hach. Based on the book by Heidi Murkoff.

Verdict: While it certainly won’t be for everyone, this charming little romance-infused comedy/drama works as well as you might expect.

With an all-star cast playing immensely likable characters, a keenly-observed screenplay by Ms Cross (Whip It) and Ms Hach (Freaky Friday) from Ms Murkoff’s bestseller, and a steady hand from Mr Jones (Nanny McPhee, Everybody's Fine), this charming little romantic comedy/drama works on every level.

Continuing the trend of recent films such as Valentine’s Day (2010), five individual stories are interwoven into a broad, sweeping canvas about the perils of impending parenthood. Elizabeth Banks (The Hunger Games) is great as Wendy Cooper, the owner of The Breast Choice Boutique – and her late-stage pregnancy-inspired meltdown at a Baby Expo that goes viral on YouTube is comedy at its finest.

Anna Kendrick (Up in the Air) and Chace Crawford (Gossip Girl) provide the youthful, passionate drama of a complicated relationship perfectly, while Cameron Diaz proves yet again that she can do practically anything with her pitch-perfect performance as the independent host of a reality television weight loss program who learns to accept that she can’t do everything on her own.

Jennifer Lopez (The Wedding Planner, Monster-in-Law, The Back-up Plan) is in fine form as the hard-working Holly who, along with her partner Alex (Rodrigo Santoro), are nervously anticipating being accepted as adoptive parents of an Ethiopian orphan. The scenes in the Ethiopian orphanage will melt the hardest of hearts, as will an unexpectedly dramatic development for one of the characters in childbirth.

While it certainly won’t move or delight everyone, What to Expect When You’re Expecting is an involving and entertaining little film that, wisely, balances all of its attendant romance, comedy and drama almost perfectly.

This review was commissioned by the Geraldton Newspaper Group.

Film Review: Bad Teacher

Bad Teacher. Rated M (sexual references, sex scene, drug use and coarse language). 92 minutes. Directed by Jacob Kasdan. Screenplay by Gene Stupnitsky and Lee Eisenberg.

There are, quite simply, some films that should never have worked. We’ve all seen one or two. The signs might have been pointing in all the wrong directions, and while the script certainly had its moments, it was never really going to hold itself together long enough to be anything other than a pleasant and occasionally funny enough distraction from a work-a-day world.

But as soon as we are introduced to Cameron Diaz’s (There’s Something About Mary, Gangs of New York, Charlie's Angels) narcissistic gold-digging ‘bad’ teacher Elizabeth Halsey, we suspect we might be about to have a really good time in her company. And we absolutely do.

Courtesy of Stupnitsky and Eisenberg’s sharply-observed and clutter-free screenplay and Kasdan’s ‘give it to me baby’ approach to direction, Miss Halsey is someone most of us will instinctively (and immediately) relate to. Perfunctorily dumped by her obscenely rich, opera-loving boyfriend in the presence of his controlling mother (who obviously despises her), our anti-heroine suddenly finds herself humiliated and back in the classroom where she obviously doesn’t belong. Or does she?

Ms Diaz is wonderful in the leading role, and Bad Teacher really only works as well as it does because of her absolute and unconditional commitment to the role. She does, however, receive sterling support from Justin Timberlake (The Social Network) as the uptight new teacher and object of her attention Scott, while Lucy Punch has a field day with her role as the picture-perfect ‘good’ teacher Amy Squirrel. Jason Segel (How I Met Your Mother) is equally good as gym teacher Russell Gettis – whose role is to help keep the whole thing honest and, ultimately, totally charming.

While it certainly won’t thrill everyone, Bad Teacher wins points for not straying from the course it sets for itself – which is to be an entertaining, light-hearted romp through the perils and misfortunes of Ms Diaz’s delightful misfit and her search for the way in which she can make a difference in the world.

This review was commissioned by the Geraldton Newspaper Group.