The inaugural YAWNIES

On the one hand, the privilege of going to the movies once a week to share our thoughts and responses with you can be an exhilarating and thought-provoking affair. On the other hand, here is the list (in alphabetical order) of the films that made it really hard going – the inaugural YAWNIES, published today in the Geraldton Guardian.

Green Zone
Hopes were high for Paul Greengrass’s (The Bourne … movies, United 93) ‘Iraq War film’. Fatally, Green Zone mistook floating a raft of opinions about the Iraq war for storytelling and paused for a moment as two great big pieces of anti-war propaganda crashed to the ground like 10-ton slabs of cement. Truly regrettable.

Law Abiding Citizen
Revenge dramas don’t come more predictable and self-indulgent than this. Complete with the worst line of dialogue in memory, this unapologetic mess of a film tried too hard to mean (and achieve) anything and ended up meaning (and achieving) nothing whatsoever. The result? Cinematic-flatlining.

Percy Jackson and The Lightning Thief
Suffering from a serious case of Harry Potter envy, this bland offering struggled with the basics of storytelling and resulted in a boring, over-produced effort that had my companion opting for all the colour and movement of the cinema foyer instead. I couldn’t leave too because reviewers have to stay until the end. Talk about hard yards!

Skyline
No list of cinematic turkeys for 2010 would be complete without this dud – the worst movie of the year. Only distinctly morbid curiosity kept me in my seat – fascinated by just how cringe-inducingly bad a film script (and the acting of it) could be.

The Disappearance of Alice Creed
Poor Alice was kidnapped, bound, gagged, nearly suffocated and eventually handcuffed to an old oil heater in an abandoned warehouse. Gemma Arterton had the unenviable task of spending much of the movie handcuffed to a bed with a bag over her head in this grimy and morally suspect, handcuff-obsessed little flick.

The Killer Inside Me
Michael Winterbottom’s pretentious, nihilistic, exploitative, dead-end of a movie disappeared under a tidal wave of controversy. The violence against women (with which this film was pornographically-afflicted) wins the YAWNIE for the film that left the nastiest taste in the mouth all year.

The Last Exorcism
Director Stamm and screenplay writers Botko and Gurland had a great idea to make a film that was as fantastic as the films it was trying desperately hard to be: The Blair Witch Project (1999), Cloverfield (2008), The Exorcist (1973) and Rosemary’s Baby (1968). It wasn’t.

The Wolfman
This blustering adaptation of the 1941 Claude Raines and Bela Lugosi horror classic tripped over itself to end up being slightly less thrilling than receiving a postcard, and infinitely less horrifying than opening your bank statement. Or your phone bill. A complete failure at generating genuine tension, suspense, meaning or interest.

Up in the Air
This lithe, mercilessly fatuous, one-note romantic comedy starred the effervescent George Clooney. This wins a YAWNIE for being one of those well-made, precise Hollywood flicks that bathes in the excesses of its own conceit and leaves you, well, up in the air about what we were supposed to make of it all. Instantly forgettable.

The inaugural YAWNIES were commissioned by the Geraldton Newspaper Group.

Film Review: Gulliver's Travels

Gulliver’s Travels. Rated PG (mild violence, coarse language and some crude humour). 85 minutes. Directed by Rob Letterman. Screenplay by Joe Stillman and Nicholas Stoller. Based on the novel by Jonathan Swift.

Promised in June 2010 and (after countless delays) finally hitting the screens on Boxing Day (and more 2D than 3D), comes a more fully-stuffed turkey than any that graced dining tables around the world this Christmas.

Loosely based on Jonathan Swift’s much-loved, epic parable of politics, war, humanity and religion comes this regrettable, shambolic mess that chiefly serves to cynically attempt to bolster the career of funny man Jack Black (King Kong, Kung Fu Panda), who is also credited as one of the film’s producers.

Apart from the sequence where Gulliver (Black) awakes to find himself prisoner in the Court of Lilliput (home to people less than six inches high), Letterman (Monsters vs Aliens, Shark Tale), Stillman (Shrek) and Stoller (Get Him to the Greek) – quite astonishingly given the creativity of the source material – find themselves similarly washed-up with nowhere to go. And with rare respite, it’s nowhere with a capital N – especially given how quickly the magic of the ‘little people’ effects wears thin.

Not even the work of four supremely experienced editors – Alan Edward Bell, Maryann Brandon (How to train your dragon), Nicolas De Toth (Die Hard 4) and Dean Zimmerman (Jumper) – can save it. Emily Blunt (Princess Mary), Jason Segel (Horatio), Amanda Peet (Darcy), Catherine Tate (Queen Vera) and Billy Connolly (King Benjamin) act with ever-increasing levels of extreme discomfort and desperation, while Black does his thing – which on this occasion, includes a sequence where Gulliver urinates on a burning Lilliputian palace. Yep, hilarious.

You might forgive the film’s serious shortcomings if you could actually find something to like and enjoy about it. But lovers of the novel will be nothing less than appalled, while everyone else will more than likely feel utterly ripped off. I was both – in equal measure.

This review was commissioned by the Geraldton Newspaper Group

Film Review: TRON: Legacy

TRON: Legacy. Rated PG (mild science fiction violence). 125 minutes. Directed by Joseph Kosinski. Screenplay by Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz.

If Avatar set the benchmark for 3D wonderment, then TRON: Legacy gives it a hefty nudge and in many, if not all, of its sequences, is equally as impressive as its environmentally-inspired sibling. In a spectacular directorial debut, Kosinski masterfully (with the exception of a couple of boring sequences of laboured exposition) brings the vision to life.

It has been 20 years since Sam Flynn’s (Garrett Hedlund) father (game creator Kevin Flynn, played by Jeff Bridges) disappeared. One night, he is visited by his father’s friend, Alan Bradley (Bruce Boxleitner), who informs Sam that he has been ‘paged’ from the disconnected number belonging to his father’s long-abandoned gaming arcade. When Sam goes to explore the arcade for any trace of his father’s reappearance, he finds himself transported to “The Grid” – a virtual world where his father is trapped in a battle for supremacy with his clone, Clu.

The futuristic environments are a triumph of state-of-the-art digital 3D technology – especially the multi-layered, glossy black glass gaming ‘grid’ onto which young Sam makes a dazzling debut. Hedlund is great as Sam, and receives wonderful support from Olivia Wilde (TV’s House) as Kevin’s confidant Quorra. Both Bridges and Boxleitner reprise their roles from the prequel (1982’s TRON), and bring authority and a perfectly-matched casting synergy to the story.

The original score by Daft Punk is fantastic, while the cinematography by Claudio Miranda (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button), editing by James Haygood (Fight Club, The Panic Room) and inspirational production design by Darren Gilford are absolutely faultless.

Ultimately, there are few words that can describe the astonishing amount of artistry that is on show here – other than “Wow!”, which I predict you will find yourself saying over and over again.

This review was commissioned by the Geraldton Newspaper Group.

2010: The Top 10 Films

If there’s anything that can start a fiery and passionate debate, it’s a list of the Top 10 Films of the year. My only rule for this list (in alphabetical order) is that they had to have been released in Australian cinemas during 2010 (which means 2009’s Avatar was not in contention).

Animal Kingdom
This near-perfect, landmark Australian film was an extraordinary debut from writer and director David Michôd. Featuring a career-defining turn from Jackie Weaver, Animal Kingdom continues to win a sleigh-load of national and international awards wherever it is in contention. Last stop – Oscar night.

Harry Brown
Daniel Barber (also in his feature film debut) delivered an angry, impatient vision of a community in extreme danger of self-annihilation. Sir Michael Caine delivered one of the performances of the year, while Gary Young’s screenplay viciously fashioned the ‘good’ from the ‘evil’ with razor sharp authority.

How to Train Your Dragon
Dreamworks’ stunning animated feature was built around the friendship between young Viking ‘Hiccup’ and his wounded Night Fury 'Toothless'. The marvellous script powered along – resulting not only in a gloriously imagined and rendered animation adventure, but a captivating film of immense heart and soul.

Inception
Just scraping in, it has to be said, is Christopher Nolan’s curious, layered, intellectually engaging, visually arresting and superbly crafted mind-bender. While it was certainly no masterpiece, it was a film that revelled in grand and adventurous epic story-telling and managed to pull it off.

Precious
Lee Daniel's gruelling drama of every possible form of previously unimaginable abuse somehow managed to isolate the essence of the human spirit – the truth of what it takes to break the cycles of violence and destruction. Gabourey Sidibe and Mo'Nique waged an epic battle with themselves (and each other) in a film of immense emotional clout.

Sherlock Holmes
Guy Ritchie returned to form with his thrilling, white-knuckled ride, melded to the screen with absolute relish and conviction, and a blisteringly good performance from Robert Downey Jnr in the title role. Ritchie proved the first rule of filmmaking: surround yourself with people who really know what they’re doing.

Shutter Island
Martin Scorsese’s fierce, passionate and wildly-involving psychological thriller was an absolute screen-scorcher. Moody, furious and featuring great performances from an all-star cast, Shutter Island was, as I predicted at the time, the most exciting and rewarding couple of hours I spent in the cinema this year.

The Hurt Locker
Kathryn Bigelow’s incredible cinematic journey plugged itself into every one of our senses and played mercilessly with our ability to comprehend risk. Mark Boal's rock-solid screenplay fuelled an ensemble of fearless performances – resulting in a painfully intimate experience of a war that continues to define the perilous misadventures of our time.

The Lovely Bones
Could Hobbit Master Peter Jackson pull off an intimate family drama? Yes, he could. Confronting, powerful, beautiful and moving, this extraordinarily potent snapshot of how the disappearance of a young girl can tear a family apart boasted a superb cast, a challenging, fluid script, and a hugely rewarding, entirely cathartic ending.

The Social Network
One of the most perfect films of the year, David Fincher’s film of Aaron Sorkin’s screenplay was a sensational piece of cinematic story-telling featuring brilliant performances from an exceptional young ensemble. Powering along for every one of its 120 minutes, The Social Network never looked or felt like anything less than a monumental labour of love for everyone concerned. Look for it everywhere at next year’s Oscar ceremony.

This list was commissioned by the Geraldton Newspaper Group.

Film Review: Due Date

Due Date. MA 15+ (strong coarse language, drug use and sexual references). 95 minutes. Directed by Todd Phillips. Screenplay by Alan R Cohen, Alan Freedland, Adam Sztykiel and Todd Phillips.

Anyone even remotely familiar with Todd Phillips’s smash-hit comedy The Hangover (2009), will find themselves in incredibly familiar territory with his latest broad brushstroke, bromance-inspired road movie Due Date.

Wound-up architect Peter Highman (Robert Downey Jr.) is desperate to get home from Atlanta to Los Angeles in time to witness the birth of his first child. When his life, both literally and metaphorically, collides with that of Hollywood-wannabe Ethan Tremblay (Zach Galifianakis) – the two new ‘friends’ find themselves on a “no fly list”. Their only choice is to hit the road in a hire-car and travel across the US.

While it owes a considerable debt to John Hughes’ Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987), in which Steve Martin and John Candy lit up the screen with their hilarious cross-country travails, Due Date, similarly, succeeds largely due to the performances of the magnificent Downey Jr and Galifianakis (who also stars in The Hangover). Without their absolute dedication to the task at hand, Due Date would more than likely have fallen flat on its flabby face.

As is often the case with these kinds of storylines, much of the comedy is derived from the catalogue of opportunities on hand when two mis-matched, self-absorbed individuals find themselves trapped in each other’s company, dealing with the results of often extremely complicated situations and mis-understandings. There are fantastic cameo appearances from Danny McBride as a Western Union employee and Juliette Lewis as a drug-dealing mother of two, whereas the subplot involving Jamie Foxx as Peter’s friend Darryl, is just a time-wasting diversion from the main game.

Peculiarly (especially with the wealth of talent on show) Due Date appears to be much longer than its 95 minutes, although the saggy pace is buoyed by a spectacular sequence in Mexico, a poignant scene on the edge of the Grand Canyon and a catastrophic series of events while Tremblay is ‘asleep at the wheel’.

So while we wait for The Hangover Part 2 (which is currently in production), Due Date is a perfectly guilt-free way to indulge in our enjoyment of Mr Phillips’ blokey, coarse, get-me-there-on-time shenanigans.

This review was commissioned by the Geraldton Newspaper Group.

Film Review: The Night Chronicles: Devil

Devil. Rated M (horror themes and violence). 81 minutes. Directed by John Erick Dowdle. Screenplay by Brian Nelson based on a story by M. Night Shyamalan.

Film distributors, it would seem, have decided that it’s the season to scare us out of our wits – and while watching concrete crack would be preferable to revisiting some of the latest attempts – M. Night Shyamalan’s Devil, on the other hand, delivers relentless nail-biting suspense that had me peeking at the cinema screen through the gaps between my fingers a great deal of the time.

Also known as The Night Chronicles: Devil, this is the first of M. Night Shyamalan’s (The Sixth Sense, Signs, The Village, The Last Airbender) planned Night Chronicles trilogy that will explore the existence of supernatural forces in the lives of people going about their (on the surface, anyway) day-to-day existence.

While Detective Bowden (Chris Messina) is investigating the death of a man who has fallen through the window of a skyscraper, five people find themselves trapped in one of the building’s elevators. At first, the plight of Ben (Bokeem Woodbine), an elderly woman (Jenny O'Hara), Vince (Geoffrey Arend), Tony (Logan Marshall-Green) and Sarah (Bojana Novakovic) appears to be nothing more than the result of a random elevator glitch – but before too long, events take a serious turn for the worse. Much worse.

Shyamalan’s Grand Guignol-inspired story, with generous lashings of a good, old-fashioned fright-fest, is fashioned into an extravagant (yet potently efficient) screenplay by Mr Nelson (Hard Candy). Dowdle’s (Quarantine) direction, Tak Fujimoto’s (Silence of The Lambs) cinematography and Elliot Greenberg’s (Quarantine) editing, account for the material masterfully, while the entire cast embrace every possibility to go-for-broke in true horror movie territory.

While, again, the film doesn’t quite deserve its almost quaint ending, horror genre afficionados will find themselves right at home.

This review was commissioned by the Geraldton Newspaper Group.